Sunray Counseling ..hope and healing
Impossible, no choice, can’t do it, no escape.
There must be a way, rise above, make it happen, thrive.
When you’re beaten down, trapped and have been conditioned to believe you have no choice and that others are more powerful and will always prevail, it’s pretty hard to see beyond your particular set of circumstances.
Sometimes you’re battling an entire system, other times it’s more one particular individual in your life. Sometimes you lose touch with your own ability to see clearly, to stand up for yourself, to claim what’s right.
How can you make the shift from treading water, barely keeping air in your lungs to making powerful strokes and reaching dry land?
Many have accomplished their flight to freedom, leaving a feeling of being brainwashed by first believing, in the tiniest way, that they have the right to be free, to choose, to leave the abusive situation, to have their own life back. Sometimes, they have had to get rather creative to do so.
We have all been inspired reading their stories, and watching the movies made of their lives. By examining their processes, we can often find some clues to help ourselves.
In many cases, the escape to freedom is harrowing, painstaking and happens over time. It really helps to have supporters in your corner.
But the very first part is believing, even if only for the very next step.
Write and tell me what helped you figure out your first step. We’re all in this together – let’s help each other out.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I am sure my poem here will sum it up…but if not I have another one that might…
BETRAYAL, BY Emma Wise (c) 2009
Betrayed once
Betrayed twice
Never trust again
A child lost
Ignored and forgotten
Becomes a lost adult
Her feelings obsolete
Assertiveness never repeats
The wounded retreat
Suppressed, Oppressed
Worthless trash
Taught through abuse
To be self abusive
No self esteem
Or Self worth
Life not valued
Is not valuable
To the inner child
Consumed by rage
Others see
What they label
Without knowing
What the cause is
They pass judgment
Teach others to judge
And point fingers
Everywhere but at
themselves
Little respect is learned
When love is demonstrated
Through pain
Silence is promoted
Health is disregarded
Never tell the secrets
Never laugh, or play
Don’t confide, or bond
Eventually all will be taken away
Ripped from the inside
Blinded from the outside
Sent into war
Without a weapon
Sent into madness
Without any support
Born strong
Not a problem
It will be beaten,
Smothered, Isolated, and
scolded
Out of you
Before you have a chance
To use it against them
Mixed messages
It will all be okay
But it isn’t now
So when will it be
Kept in a room
In a closet
In the darkness
Within your soul
Entrapped in the wrong
Because nothing you do
Is right
Anticipate rejection
Know you are ugly,
Unloved, and not wanted
How will you ever learn
To love yourself
What a deep expression of your experience, Emma.. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this with us. Writing is a tremendous tool to get us in touch with what we’re feeling. You are loved..!
and another poem that expresses the pain of not being heard…
Silence of the Lies, by Emma Wise (c) 2009
You ask me how I am,
I have no voice to explain.
You have no time to speak,
my voice is muted already.
Silence is my routine,
shutting down is my life.
Pretending is so lame,
the real me is no game.
I wage through the havoc,
the war I am far too familiar with.
Going to God almost daily,
but with no comrade by my side.
Wish this was not so hard,
to find a soul to love me.
One I won’t push away,
or drown in the depths of darkness.
The we’s do not care,
the further you are the better.
Keeping me hostage,
under their care.
Tired of having to reach out,
to only getting shunned.
Playing the game of church,
to subside my mission friends.
Reaching out to the lost,
when it is right under their nose.
The masses are undefinable,
put the mask back on.
You don’t matter,
just a speck on the planet.
Why should anyone care,
quit taking up their time.
In the way again,
too much pain to soak.
Believe in truth,
life will work for you.
Praying for you,
listening to the preaching screams.
My reality is truth,
trapped as you can see.
It does not matter what I think,
everyone else is better than me.
I do not matter to them,
life is better for them.
Do not disturb their peace,
they are busy can’t you see.
Never mind your needs,
cry alone and rest in peace.
Everyone deserves to be heard. In writing and sharing this, Emma, you are being heard here.
Thank you for taking the huge risk to speak up tonight.
Your blog was a good teaser, to make readers think about their journey from a fresh angle.
I especially appreciated Emma’s poems, and the sensitivity that she shared. The last poem resonated for me after going to a church function yesterday and almost being invisible…it can be disturbing.
I was fortunate to have a God appointment with someone who needed to be heard, and tried to give what I had missed, and it turned the day around for me. I hope it helped the other person too.
Ah, those God appointments make it all worthwhile, don’t they? You gave what you missed.. Priceless.
Thanks so much for weighing in here, Skosh. Emma is definitely one of those amazing writers..